You're going to miss this

This post came up in my news feed today and really resonated with me. I get it! I love my kids so much, I love being married, I love my home, I love my job......I asked the Lord so many times for these things and can't thank Him enough for blessing me with what I asked. I never get upset with my kids, or want to run away, or act unreasonable, haha.

All that to say, the pat answers of, "You're going to miss this," or "You need to be content," are not always the right ones.They are simply not helpful at times. There are times when people just need encouragement, a hug, help, a freezer meal, etc. We don't know if the difficulty we see is the whole story or if there might be other problems, postpartum depression, marriage problems, difficult children, having a toddler, the list could go on. So next time before giving the usual answer, stop and think about whether that will actually be helpful.



Mary Arnold Kury

· 

Yesterday was such a hard day. I was angry and frustrated and disappointed. Nothing went quite according to plan. Every time I turned around something had been destroyed or demolished. I yelled. No one wanted to listen or obey. The boys were lunatics and the girls lied about finishing their school work. I yelled. Simple instructions were ignored. New plants I had purchased were broken, a bottle of essential oil poured out, keys lost. I yelled. Dinner was despised, my head was pounding, and my day ended in a pool of hopelessness... I cried.

I wanted so badly to reach out somewhere to someone who would listen and encourage me. But I didn't for fear of hearing those well intentioned, but excoriating words that seem to pour effortlessly from mouths:

"You're going to miss this. Enjoy these days. It only gets harder."

Could we please stop saying this? A reminder to be content, rely on the Lord's strength, and to try to find something positive in each day- those are all wonderful. But to tell a mom who has admitted to feeling like she's drowning in the chaos of motherhood to "enjoy this time and that it only gets worse?"

Folks, you haven't heard her. You haven't listened to what she's saying. She's asking for help. She needs a break. She wants you to validate that these moments are shredding her from the inside out. She doesn't need you to tell her it's going to get worse and harder. She needs to hear that you love her. And that you will help her. And that her children are amazing people who need constant guidance and she will fail them over and over but with God's loving grace and mercy, she won't screw them up too badly. That these days are exhausting and overwhelming and that's she's trying and it's temporary. That they will grow up and she will hopefully have more memories of the hilarious and loving moments than the chaotic angry moments. That you will come and sweep her floor and hold a crying child and fold part of a mountain of laundry... and just listen without saying things like "enjoy this".

Because we all know the fire isn't enjoyable. We know the refining process is painful. We wouldn't trade the end result for anything in the world. We love our kids so much it hurts. But these days are hard. Moms, these days are impossible at times. And guess what...!they get better. THEY GET BETTER!!! You get stronger and more capable of handling the challenges, learning your children's needs, helping them understand.

Today, mom, just know, it does get better. It does get easier. Praise Jesus, His mercies are new every morning. Forgive yourself from yesterday's failures. Ask your children to forgive you. Today is a new day.

And maybe, just maybe, today WILL be one that you will miss.

xoxo